


A matter of letters

by Verse



Category: Fate/Grand Order
Genre: Gen, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:08:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26648023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Verse/pseuds/Verse
Summary: You'd go to hell and back for your servants, but you still gotta draw the linesomewhere.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 44





	A matter of letters

In your humble opinion, Astolfo... doesn’t really deserve the title of “Knight of Evaporated Sanity.”

Well, yes, you guess they do, because that’s, you know. A physical thing. But what you mean is that Astolfo is _far_ from the most “insane” person in Chaldea. Sure, they’re a little rowdy, but so is Liz when Halloween comes around. Sure, sometimes they don’t express things in the most straightforward way, but that’s nothing on most berserkers. Astolfo is, all in all, as normal as they come.

Still, sometimes, they get _creative_ in wat they do, and during these moments you get a glimpse at what most people must feel like when speaking to Astolfo.

“No.” You say, gently, yet firmly. “I’m not reviewing your sexts, Astolfo.”

“They’re not sexts. That’d imply I’m texting them, which I’m not.” 

Fair enough. Astolfo, you’ve just learned, goes _all out_ when it comes to flirting with someone. You’re talking full-on love letters. You’re talking papers upon papers praising the person’s beauty and voice and personality and

well. You assume also the things they wish to do to them. Which, valid, but _way too much information._

“Fine. I’m not reviewing your raunchy poetry then. I would walk to hell and back for you, Astolfo, but I gotta draw the line on this one.”

“Please don’t. I can go to hell myself. You need to take better care of yourself.” _Oh the absolute hypocrite-_ “Thanks, though. I’ll ask someone else then."

“Try asking Fergus? It’s kind of his area.” At the very least he’s the most likely to accept. “Why are you so intent on getting an editor though? Isn’t it the kind of thing that’s better, like, raw? Feels out or whatever?” Plus, if you recall correctly, Astolfo is known for being quite the seducer in their original myth. Really, this shouldn’t be a problem for them.

“Well, yeah. But I’m, y’know,” they make a vague gesture at their whole body, “prone to going on tangents, let’s say. No one wants to read about shark facts in the middle of a paragraph about thighs.”

“I dunno, it could be endearing. Depends on how it’s brought up.” Though again, you’re certainly not going to be checking it out to judge for yourself.

They raise an eyebrow at that. “Master, _no one_ likes tangents. Even outside of sexy times. Just because I can’t help it doesn’t mean I don’t realize people find it annoying.”

Unfortunate, but makes sense. Still, there’s one thing you’d like to know. “How long has this whole... courting thing, been going on again?”

“Uh, a month or so? I think.”

“Now, mind you, I still don’t know who your lover is or anything,” (Is it still called a lover if you’re still in the courting stages? Huh. You’ll have to google that up later.) “But I think if you two have been going at it for a full month, they have to be aware that you’re like that. And if they’ve yet to break things off, it means they’re okay with that. Or at least willing to work with it.”

A pause. “... Huh.”

“You’re happier with your sanity gone than back, aren’t you?” You insist. “Why wouldn’t they like you at your happiest?”

“... Y’know, I’ve never thought about it this way.”

“Not gonna lie, I have no idea how good of an advice that is. But that’s how I see thing.”

“Nah, nah, that’s legit. Thanks Master!” They do a peace sign. “See you around!”

“Go get em, tiger!” You wave as they leave your room.

You glance at the clock. It’s four in the morning.

God, the things you do for your servants. You roll back in the blankets and close your eyes. The gossip can wait till tomorrow, thank you.


End file.
